Let’s Unpack The “Best Self” Concept

Spoiler: Your best self is not perfect.

There’s this really lovely serendipitous little thing that happens here on substack, where, because this space is inherently creative & contemplative, readers & authors & artists alike tend to mirror each other in a very special way. That’s exactly what happened in the exchange I had in the comments of a recent post here at Good Light, and I’m still here thinking about it weeks later.

If I’m being honesty though, I knew in the moment it happened that I would find myself writing about it. Get nice and cozy because today we’re softening our perspective on the “best-self” concept (and your self-judgement).

In the comments of “Who Are You When You Feel Most Like Yourself?” Elizabeth shared:

The thing that stood out to me in this comment is this line here: I want to be kind and loving and inspiring all the time.

The response that slipped out of my finger tips typing into my phone left me a bit stunned. It created an aftershock affect in my mind and I kept returning to the idea to contemplate it for the rest of the day.

We’re even more kind & loving & inspiring when we’re also sharing with our community our less than sparkly times.

I don’t believe our best selves are our most perfectly balanced & energized selves, but our most honest & present selves. Didn’t just slip out of my subconscious, but rather revealed itself to me in a moment that I really needed to witness it.

In general, this year has felt more difficult than others for me. I spent the majority of the last 2 years on a high, realizing dreams for myself and learning so much along the way. However the majority of this year I’ve been resistant to slowing down, processing, and adjusting my dreams. Because of this, my practice has been to be very careful to not wear the heavy, itchy sweater that is self-judgement and shame.

I would love to be in a different position than I am right now in my life. Still, I also know that this season will serve me and is preparing me for the future I’ve been asking for.

We ache and strive and stretch ourselves so far to become this person who inspires. This person that is a light. Who uplifts themselves and the people we love.

While there is beauty and power in that, I also need you to know that you already are a person who inspires. Full stop.

I’m especially confident in saying that since you are here reading this newsletter.

We love a triumphant story where the underdog wins, or a story where someone makes something beautiful out of nothing. The real reason we love these stories is not because they of the way they end; happily, overcoming adversity, etc. We love these stories because we see ourselves, our humanity, and what is possible in our own lives, reflected back to us through them.

A beloved friend told me recently, “I want to know about your life and how you are even when it isn’t positive or pretty or exciting.” It really struck me how I felt like those parts of my life didn’t also deserve to be shared. Especially when I wouldn’t think twice about being there for my friends in their lives - no matter the mess. It’s so silly to think that we have to be “through it” to be inspiring or the best possible expression of ourselves.

We shall not wait for the splendid, mythical bright day when we are perfect and always bursting with happiness before allowing our own ray of divinity to shine through to others.

~Brendon Burchard, The Motivation Manifesto

What if your best self is not the most perfect, joyful, sparkling expression of how you perceive yourself, but instead your best self was simply you meeting each moment, experience, and day to the best of your ability?

What if the most kind and loving and inspiring thing you can do is be where your feet are?

Does that land in your body with more grace and tenderness?

Notice the breath you just took. Notice how your shoulders relaxed.

Notice how much more space this way of understanding and being with yourself actually empowers you. To inspire, to be a light, and to uplift the people you love even more. Through honesty. Through connection. Through an enriching embodiment of authenticity and truth.

Get out there and make some Good Light.

Xx Riley Reign

A huge thank you to Elizabeth for contributing in the comments and expressing how “Who Are You When You Feel Most Like Yourself” resonated with her. It’s so special to me how interactions here can spark an inspiration for a full piece to come to life.

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